When Stress Shows Up at Work

This time of year can bring a lot more than work into the workplace.

Year-end deadlines. PTO. School schedules and childcare. Travel. Caregiving. Financial pressure. Grief. Holiday expectations. Short-staffed teams. And sometimes just the exhaustion that comes at the end of a long year.

Managers often see the impact before they know what is behind it.

Someone who is usually reliable starts missing deadlines. An employee seems distracted or less engaged. Attendance changes. Patience gets shorter. Work quality slips.

And this is where leaders can get stuck.

Do you give someone grace because you know they may be carrying more than usual?

Or do you address what is happening at work?

Often, the answer is both.

Compassion and Accountability Are Not Opposites

Compassion without accountability can turn into repeatedly overlooking something that still needs to be addressed.

Accountability without compassion can turn into deciding someone does not care, is not trying, or simply needs more pressure before we really understand what is happening.

There is a difference between noticing that three deadlines were missed and deciding the employee does not care about deadlines.

One is what happened.

The other is the story we have attached to it.

Being curious about that difference does not make the expectation disappear. It simply gives us a better place to start.

Stress Does Not Look the Same on Everyone

For one employee, this may be the happiest time of the year.

For another, it may mean financial strain, family conflict, caregiving, loneliness, grief, health concerns, or an already-full calendar getting even fuller.

Managers do not need every detail of an employee's personal life.

But when behavior or performance changes, it is worth remembering that what we see at work may not be the whole story.

Grace Has to Include the Team Too

This is where it gets harder.

Managers may hesitate to have a conversation because they do not want to put more pressure on someone who is already struggling.

But someone else may be covering the work. A teammate may be waiting on a deliverable. The manager may be absorbing more themselves. Other employees may be wondering why expectations suddenly seem different.

Compassion for one employee cannot mean forgetting everyone else.

Sometimes the kindest thing we can offer is an honest conversation.

The Hard Part Is Holding Both

Most leaders understand the extremes.

The harder part is everything in between.

How do you acknowledge what someone is carrying while still being clear about what the job requires?

How do you offer support without making the expectation optional?

How do you stay curious while still addressing something that needs to change?

That is compassionate accountability.

The goal is not to choose between people and performance.

It is learning how to lead with both.

Want to Go Deeper?

On October 21, I am hosting a free session, When Life Shows Up at Work: Building Resilience, Accountability & High Performance Through the Hard Stuff, where we will dig further into what this looks like when leaders are actually in the middle of these situations.

Learn more and register through the Seminole County Chamber:
https://business.seminolebusiness.org/events/details/when-life-shows-up-at-work-building-resilience-accountability-high-performance-through-the-hard-stuff-44371

Michelle Attia, MHRM, SPHR, is Founder and Principal Consultant of Axisara Group. Michelle works with organizations on a fractional and project basis across workforce strategy, organizational effectiveness, manager capability, HR operations, compensation, compliance, and complex people challenges. Through Axisara Group, clients can also access broader support across payroll, benefits, recruiting, training, HR technology, communications, and complementary business services.