Caring for a Vet With PTSD: A Family Guide

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that can affect anyone who has experienced a traumatic event. For many veterans, especially those who served in combat zones, PTSD can be a lasting and deeply personal challenge. If you’re caring for a vet with PTSD, you play a vital role in their healing and well-being-    and your support can make a profound difference.

Understand What PTSD Is—and Isn’t

PTSD is not a sign of weakness. It’s a natural response to traumatic experiences, such as combat, injury, or witnessing loss. Symptoms can include:

• Flashbacks or nightmares

• Being easily startled

• Emotional numbness or detachment

• Irritability or angry outbursts

• Trouble sleeping or concentrating

• Avoiding reminders of trauma

 

When your veteran loved one has PTSD, it affects the entire family. You may notice that they “act differently and get angry easily,” explains an article from the National Center for PTSD at the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). “Your loved one may not want to do things you used to enjoy together." Family members might feel angry about how PTSD is affecting family life or wonder if relationships will ever return to normal. These feelings are natural and expected.

Understanding that these symptoms are part of a medical condition, not personal behavior or choices, can help you strive for empathy instead of frustration.

 

Getting Professional Help

Whether your veteran "just returned from a deployment or [has] been home for 40 years, it's never too late to get help for PTSD," says another article from the VA.

PTSD is treatable, but it often requires professional support. Encourage your loved one to speak

with a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma or military mental health. Many veterans qualify for care through the VA, which offers a range of treatments, including mental health assessments, proven medications, psychotherapy (“talk therapy”), family therapy, and group therapy. Vets who can't easily access VA medical centers can receive counseling over the phone.

Start with VA Mental Health Services at www.mentalhealth.va.gov, or call the Veterans Crisis Line (dial 988, then press 1), or text 838255.

 

Learn To Listen Without Judgment

Sometimes the best thing you can do is simply be there. Veterans may not always want to talk about what they’ve experienced, but when they do, it’s important to listen without interrupting or trying to “fix” things. Create a safe, nonjudgmental space. Even if they aren’t ready to share, your presence matters. 

Let them know you’re there for them, you’re not going to push them to talk, and they aren’t alone.           

Create a Calming Environment

Vets with PTSD may be sensitive to loud noises, sudden changes, or crowded spaces. Consider:

• Keeping the home quiet and predictable

• Avoiding loud movies or startling sounds

• Giving them space when they seem overwhelmed

• Respecting their need for routines or downtime

Even small adjustments can help reduce stress and anxiety.

Improving Communication

Better communication can strengthen your relationship with your veteran. The VA offers tips such as:

• "Be clear and to the point."

• "Be positive. Blame and negative talk won't help the situation."

• "Put your feelings into words. Your loved one may not know you are sad or frustrated unless you are clear about your feelings."

• "Don't give advice unless you are asked."

If communication remains difficult, the VA recommends family therapy.

Taking Care of Yourself

The VA stresses that "helping someone with PTSD can be hard on you" and warns that "if you're not careful, you may get sick yourself, become depressed, or burn out and stop helping your loved one."

Here are some ways to take care of yourself:

• Set healthy boundaries.

• Connect with a support group (such as NAMI Family Support Group at www. NAMI.org, VA caregiver resources, or local veteran family programs).

• Get enough sleep, exercise, and downtime.

• Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Caring for someone with PTSD is a journey—and you deserve support, too.

Know the Warning Signs of a Crisis

If your loved one talks about feeling hopeless, harming themselves, or withdrawing completely from life, it’s essential to take action. Don’t wait. Call the Veterans Crisis Line at 988 (press 1) or call 911 and mention that the person is a veteran experiencing a mental health crisis.

Getting Started With VA Services

If you haven’t already, visit www.ptsd.va.gov for resources, self-assessment tools, and links to local VA services. Recovery is possible, but it takes time. The National Center for PTSD reminds us that "it's normal to feel helpless at times" and that "things change slowly." Your patience, understanding, and support make a real difference in your veteran's healing journey.

All of us at Right at Home are deeply grateful for each veteran’s service.